Four Men, Twelve Cats, A Billion Dollars
by Authoress formerly knownas Liz
Summary: Something terrible has happened. Something that has hurt many people. But that's okay, right? There's a billion dollars just sitting there, ready to be stolen! One Problem: It belongs to a bunch of cats...Shounen Ai! YxY RxB JxS
1. Tragedy Strikes Domino

Four Men, Twelve Cats, A Billion Dollars

By Liz

Okay, so I don't know where I got this idea, but it just came to me. And since I'm at my dad's house and Bakura's Journal is at my mom's house…I did this instead ahahahaha. Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh my god…"

"What?"

"Come here and see for yourself."

Seventeen-year-old Yugi Mutou was watching the evening news in his living room and eating his dinner. He lived with his grandfather in a game store where he also worked.

"What is it, Yugi?"

He went to high school like any other normal seventeen-year-old did. He even had a love interest…thought the object of his affections was not who you'd think it was.

"Look."

His name was Yami. He lived with Yugi and his grandfather in the game shop. He didn't go to school, he didn't really have a job other than helping with the shop. Problem was, he wasn't really even alive.

"Oh my god…"

"Exactly."

He was the pharaoh from three thousand years ago, and he technically died then. But for some unknown reason, he was locked into an object, the Sennen Puzzle, and reborn in the future.

"How did this happen?"

They had a few friends. Jounouchi Katsuya as one. Blonde haired and hot headed, tall but short tempered. A very interesting person to be around.

"I don't know…Jounouchi's going to be really upset."

Then there was Bakura Ryou. He was a very shy person and didn't normally talk to anyone at all. At least, when his yami wasn't around. See, Ryou had the same problem as Yugi…a spirit who resided in an object and was reborn in the future. Bakura was his name, and evil was his game.

"Bakura will be thrilled."

"Yami!"

"What?"

There was another "friend" of theirs. His name was Ishtar Malik. More of a friend of Bakura's actually, but no one really cared. He had sandy blonde hair that flowed down his back and across his face. Once evil…still evil…who really knows.

"Nothing."

"Malik will be jumping for joy…"

"Yami!"

"What? It's true!"

And then there was Seto Kaiba. Seto was the CEO of a major corporation named Kaiba Corp. He, along with his younger brother Mokuba, ruled most of the city of Domino. Yet he still attended school with the rest of Yugi's friends.

"I can't believe this happened."

"Well, he won't be after me anymore!"

"YAMI THAT'S HORRIBLE"

"You know it's true! He couldn't stop following us! All the talk about 'beating me' this and 'claiming the title' that. It was annoying!"

"Yeah, but…"

""No buts! It's wonderful this happened. End of story."

"YAMI! He DIED! Doesn't that hurt you just a little?"

"No."

"You are so heartless!"

"Not really. I feel bad for Mokuba."

"He died too!"

"What?"

Yugi ran upstairs to his room, leaving Yami all alone in the living room.

* * *

"We're here at Kaiba Corp. where it was believed to be the murder site of brothers Seto and Mokuba Kaiba. There has been no word otherwise, and it is also known that the company has everything taken care of."

"Turn that up!"

The volume on the TV slowly crept up to a decent range allowing the white haired teen in the kitchen to better hear what it was saying.

"Did they just say that Seto Kaiba…was murdered?"

"Yes, Bakura." Ryou said as he leaned back on the couch. "He was killed in his office. Mokuba too, during a visit."

"Wow…" Bakura said. He opened the refrigerator and took out a soda. "That sucks. I mean, I was the one trying to kill him and here someone else goes and does it first!"

"Bakura!"

"What?"

"Nevermind." Ryou sighed. "This is just horrible! I mean, Kaiba was one of our friends!" He paused. "Well, he was almost one of our friends."

"Get over it." Bakura walked into the living room. "People die. It happens. Get used to it."

Ryou made a face. "Well I'm sorry Mr. Bloodshed, but I'm not used to death and destruction." He turned away from the spirit.

Bakura looked down at his soda and sighed.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Malik ran into the front room of the house with a baseball bat. "What's going on? Is someone breaking in? I'll kill them!"

"NO!" Malik's sister, Isis, yelled. After that she began crying.

Malik put the baseball bat down and walked over to his sister. "What happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Seto Kaiba was murdered today."

"Say what?" Malik shouted. "There's no way! He's Mr. Rich-and-Powerful! He has body guards galore! Plus he can kick major ass!"

"I know." Isis cried. "But he and Mokuba were killed in his office."

"Wow…this is kinda sad…" Malika said.

"Kinda?" Isis screamed. "I LOVE HIM! First he finds someone else, and now he's dead!"

"Wow…"

Malik watched as Isis ran out of the room.

* * *

"Why!"

"I don't know."

"Why did this have to happen to him?"

"I really don't know, man."

"I love him! He promised me he wouldn't leave me!"

"I know."

Jounouchi sobbed into the arms of his best friend, Honda. He had been dating Seto for months and the two had been madly in love. There was no one he loved more than Seto Kaiba.

"I just…I just miss him." Jounouchi cried.

Honda rubbed circles on his back as he tried to calm his bet friend. He didn't know what to say. Really, what could anyone say after the loss of his most loved one?

* * *

"Wait a minute!"

"What?" Yugi said from the top of the staircase.

"I just remembered something!" Yami said.

Yugi gave him a questioning look.

* * *

Bakura smirked evilly.

"I don't like the look of this..." Ryou said.

* * *

Malik lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't believe that Seto Kaiba was dead.

But wait a minute…

* * *

Jounouchi abruptly stopped crying as a questioning look spread across his face.

"What is it?" Honda asked.

* * *

"What about his money?"

* * *

So, did you like the first chapter? Hahahaha there's more where that came from. Review! 


	2. The Dramatic Reading of Seto Kaibas Will

Four Men, Twelve Cats, A Billion Dollars

By Liz

Alright then! Here's chapter two because I'm on a writing spree!

* * *

"There's no one to stop me! AHAHAHA!"

Ryou stood in front of Bakura as he tried to leave the house. "No."

Bakura blinked. "What do you mean, 'No'?"

"I mean no. You can't do that!"

"Yes I can!"

"No, you can't!"

"Why not?"

Ryou sighed. "One. It's illegal. Two. You don't know where it is. Three. It's already promised to someone else. Like Jounouchi."

"Then I'll steal it from him." Bakura brushed passed Ryou and opened to door.

"Bakura!" Ryou shouted. "It's wrong, you know that!"

Bakura winked. "There are plenty of things wrong with what I do. Does that stop me?"

Ryou lowered his head. "No."

"Good." And with that as his last word, he set out toward Kaiba Corp.

* * *

"Yami. No."

"Come on Yugi! He doesn't need it anymore!" Yami protested. "We could get all kinds of things! Like a new store for your grandfather and a whole bunch of Duel Monster cards!"

"Yami," Yugi walked down the stairs to face his boyfriend. "it's not your money. We don't even know whose money it is yet."

Yami looked puzzled.

Yugi sighed. "Okay. Well there's this thing called a 'will' and when you're alive, you make a will to see who gets your stuff. When you die, the will is then read allowed and the stuff is distributed among those listed in the will."

Yami looked at Yugi while contemplating what he had just said. "Okay." He replied. "Okay."

"Good." Yugi said. "Now come watch TV with me. We'll see if anything develops."

"Alright."

* * *

"Meh, it's probably going to be Jounouchi's."

A thought.

"But I could also just be left there."

Another thought.

"Or it could be Jounouchi's"

Malik sighed as he stay lying on the couch. He was going through his head all the possibilities of where Seto's money could go. _He has no family that's alive, with Mokuba dead too. And Jounouchi's the closest thing he's got to family. _Malik thought.

* * *

"Jounouchi…do you know what this means?" Honda said. "This means that you're probably getting the money! You'll be rich!"

"I don't care." Jounouchi said as he turned away from his friend. "I don't care."

Honda grunted. "That's not the Jounouchi I know! The Jounouchi I know would never say that! He would be very happy for all the money!"

"The Jounouchi you used to know wasn't in love." He replied. "I don't care for the money, all I want is Seto back"

The TV then started blaring another large amount of info from the Seto Kaiba murder investigation. Jounouchi focused himself toward the TV and listened intently.

"The will reading for Seto and Mokuba Kaiba will be held tomorrow at noon. All who are invited are: Jounouchi Katsuya…"

Jounouchi blinked. "Oh…yeah…"

* * *

"…Mutou Yugi…"

"Whaaa?" Yugi said. "Kaiba put me on his will? I'm confused."

"Me too." Yami said.

* * *

"…Bakura Ryou…"

Bakura turned to look at a TV shop. "What?"

Ryou ran up behind him. "We're going to the will reading tomorrow. Come home now and you'll find out where the money is tomorrow."

Bakura looked puzzled, but gave in and went back home.

* * *

"…Ishtar Isis…"

Malik quickly sat up and stared at the TV. "What? Hmmm…"

* * *

The next day was very eventful for many people. The Seto and Mokuba Kaiba will reading was at noon at the Kaiba Mansion, and there were several hundred people there. Many were news reporters and cameramen.

"Yugi, I didn't think they would allow many camera people in here." Ryou said to his friend.

"I didn't think so either." Yugi said. "But I guess he really was very famous…"

"Yugi look! Free food!" Yami said waving to Yugi.

Yugi smacked his forehead. "Will the embarrassment ever stop?" He turned to Ryou. "Excuse me." And he ran over to the spirit of the puzzle to tell him to be more respectful.

"I am surprised that I was even let in." Bakura said as he approached Ryou.

"Well, Mr. Psycho, when you threaten their life with a plastic fork then anything is possible…" Ryou said. "…I guess."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ryou! I would never stoop so low to hurt anyone with plastic utensils! That fork was one hundred percent white metal!"

Ryou sighed.

"Hey, isn't that your buddy?" Bakura said while he grabbed some food off a food table. "The blonde one that was dating Kaiba."

"Jounouchi!" Ryou shouted. "Oh dear, he must be hurting so much right now! He just lost the love of his life!"

Bakura took a sip of wine that was sitting on the table. "So?"

Ryou elbowed him in the side, making him spit out his wine. "So? How would you feel if I died?"

Bakura paused. "See, that would never happen."

Ryou sighed again and walked over to Jounouchi.

Bakura then felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey buddy! What's shaking?"

"Malik." Bakura said. He brushed his "friend" off and walked away.

Malik only followed. "What's up?"

"Nothing. And how did you manage to get in here? I thought that only Isis was allowed to be in here!"

"Oh her? Well, she was too upset to go so I came in her place." Malik said uneasily. "Yeah, she was devastated."

"You locked her in a closet, didn't you?"

"…maybe."

"Attention all!" An announcer said. "We will begin the will reading in five minutes."

Bakura finished off the wine. "Well Malik…it was horrible talking with you and I hope I never see you again. Bye."

Malik watched Bakura walk away. "See you again friend!"

* * *

"To Ivory Satchel…my staple remover."

All watched as a blonde haired woman walked up to the front of the room to collect what was left for her. She took the staple remover and held it close, walking back to her seat and calling out Seto's name.

"To Yugi Mutou…"

"Oh Yugi, what do you think you'll get? Something awesome, right? I mean, Kaiba was obsessed with you!" Yami said. "Well, with me, under your name…"

"Shut up Yami!"

"…my prized Kuriboh card."

"What?" Yami said. "We were worth more than that! I demand something better!"

"Yami, stop it." Yugi said as he walked up to collect his belonging.

"To Ryou Bakura…"

"Ohohohoho!" Bakura laughed. "This is it Ryou! Fame, fortune, anything from Kaiba should be worth something!"

"Bakura, you saw what Yugi got. We're going to get something similar." Ryou replied.

"Oh come on! Don't be such a pessimist!"

"…my blender."

"A blender?" Bakura shouted. "That's it? What a moron!"

"Sir, could you please sit down—"

"NEVER!" Bakura shouted.

"Please, sit down Bakura." Ryou said.

"…fine." Bakura said.

Ryou walked up to the front and took the blender that was probably only worth five dollars. It didn't even look like something that Seto had even bought himself.

"To Isis Ishtar…"

Malik snickered. "Oh this better be good!"

"…a lifetime in an insane asylum. Stay away from me you crazy bitch."

Malik's jaw dropped as the entire crowd began laughing.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Bakura turned around to look at Malik. "At least we got a blender! AHAHAHAHA!"

Malik kicked Bakura's chair and laughed as it fell over, knocking the spirit on his face.

"And to Katsuya Jounouchi…by beloved Katsuya…"

"Seto…" Jounouchi cried.

"…I leave you my heart…and always know that I will love you forever..."

The crowd got silent and watched at Jounouchi stood up in his seat.

"I love you Seto!" He shouted to the sky. "I love you more than anything! And don't you worry! I'll never stop loving you!"

"…and here's a dollar for all that you've given me."

Jounouchi stopped his love rant and death glared at the guy reading off the will. "What?"

The guy started shaking as he ruffled through the papers. "Uh…that's what it says."

Jounouchi ran up to the front and grabbed the will. "Was that all that I was worth to you?" He threw the paper across the room. "I HATE YOU SETO KAIBA."

A random person picked up the will and stared at it. "It says here that the Kaiba fortune is to be given to his 12 cats that live in his mansion."

Silence plagued the room for about five minutes. No one could believe that Seto Kaiba would leave all his money to his cats…

"He had cats?" Jounouchi said.

"And here we thought he liked dogs…" Bakura said.

"SHUT UP!" Jounouchi yelled and ran out of the room.

"Bakura! How could you upset him like that?" Ryou said. "He's been through enough!" He ran after Jounouchi, calling out his name.

"Hmmm…" Yami said. "Twelve Cats…what could twelve cats possibly do with all that money?"

"Yami…" Yugi said.

"What? I'm just thinking. There's nothing wrong with thinking."

"There's plenty wrong with thinking when you usually act on the thoughts that are produced by your thinking." Yugi replied, getting up out of his chair. "Now stop thinking about the money and let it stay there." He walked away.

"…" Yami couldn't say anything. He just followed Yugi out of the building…

…when an arm grabbed him and forced him to turn around. "What the—"

"Shhh." A voice said. "It's me."

"Bakura?"

"SHH!" He put a hand over his mouth. "Come on. Before Yugi sees you."

Yami looked over at Yugi's back. He shrugged and went with Bakura anyway.

"What are we doing?" Yami hissed at Bakura. Bakura gave no answer as they found their way into the men's restroom and locked the door.

"You better not be trying to have sex with me, Bakura." Yami said. "Because I would have to kill you."

"Relax." Bakura said. "I don't want to have sex with you. And it's not like you could do anything about it anyway."

Yami growled. "What?"

"Be quiet!" Bakura shushed him. "Anyway. I came up with a plan."

Yami crossed his arms. "I don't know if I can trust your plans. You'll get me in trouble with everyone."

"Hey! Watch it!" A new voice said. "Take your hands off me you moron!" A bang on the door. "Ow!"

"The catcher has brought the dog." Another voice said outside the door.

"Dog?" The first voice said. "Take that back! Only Seto can call me that!"

Bakura walked over to the door and unlocked it. It opened to reveal Malik with Jounouchi.

"Okay, what is going on here?" Yami questioned.

"I told you." Bakura said. "I have a plan. A plan that you might like."

"I won't like it at all!" Jounouchi said. "I'm in mourning! Leave me alone!"

"No!" Malik said. "You have to hear the plan that me and Bakura came up with!"

"How?" Yami asked. "You guys didn't speak to each other at all during the reading. How could you guys have come up with a plan?"

"We can talk telepathically." Malik said, pointing to his head. "I set it up during Battle City!"

Bakura sighed. "When Dog-boy over here was ranting about his love for Kaiba, we were talking about how to get the money. When we heard that cats had it, we knew that the plan was going to work."

"I'm listening." Yami said.

"Well I'm not!" Jounouchi walked towards the door. "This is Seto's money! We should just leave it alone. This is where he wanted it to be!"

"Would you shut up! Kaiba's dead and he's not coming back for his money!" Bakura shouted. "Don't you think it's odd that you didn't get the money?"

Jounouchi nodded.

"Okay then. We're just going to get the money to it's rightful place. With you." Bakura said. "The only thing different is that we're going to take some of it too."

"What?" Jounouchi said. "But it's my money!"

"But we're helping you get it." Malik stated. "We can split it four ways. It's still 250 million dollars."

"I don't know about this…" Yami said. "If Yugi found out that we were doing this, then he'd leave me forever! Or worse…" He shuddered. "Leave me and then take apart the puzzle!"

"Oh come on. Ryou's threatened to toss the ring in the ocean several times! Get over it!" Bakura said. "Besides…when he sees how much money you have now, he'll love you forever!"

"True…" Yami said.

"I miss Seto…" Jounouchi said.

"Shut up!" Bakura said. "Okay, here's the plan…uhmm…what's the plan again?"

"I thought you remembered it!" Malik said.

"No…that was your job!" Bakura yelled. "Idiot. Okay, we'll go home and devise a new plan and we'll keep in touch."

"Alright." Yami said. "This better work."

"Oh it will." Bakura said, putting an arm around Yami. "I mean come on! It's cats for crying out loud! What harm could some cats possibly do?"

"Hmm…" Yami thought.

"Exactly! Nothing! Now go home and get some rest. We'll need all the energy we can get for our schemes! Mwahahahaha!"

"True dat!" Malik said.

"Malik," Bakura said. "Don't talk like that again."

"Okay…" Malik said.

"Guys…uhh…well…okay. I guess I'm in." Jounouchi said. "Only cause Seto left me a dollar for all the things I've done for him! I thought he really loved me! Besides, the sex should have been worth a lot more than a dollar!"

"Too much information!" Malik said, covering his ears as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Yuck." Yami said as he left as well.

"Tsk tsk." Bakura said. "You should have gotten the money up front before you had sex with him…you have a lot to learn…" He walked away leaving Jounouchi alone in the bathroom.

"Seto…" Jounouchi said. "I'll make sure your money is well spent. You may be a jerk, but I love you anyway." With that, Jounouchi turned and walked out of the bathroom, heading towards a life without his one true love…

* * *

Oh the drama! Oh the humor! Hahaha. Hope you guys liked this chapter hehe. I actually wrote this before I posted the whole story! Ah well, it's not getting as many reviews as I has hoped...oh well! Please review this one! Hehe


	3. The Beginning of a Plan

Four Men, Twelve Cats, A Billion Dollars 

By Liz

Chapter 3! Alright!

* * *

_"Jounouchi, always know that I love you." Seto Kaiba said to the blonde haired boy standing in front of him. "Don't ever forget that."_

_Tears formed in Jounouchi's eyes. "I know." He wiped them away with the sleeve of his sweater. "I know. And always know that I will never stop loving you. No matter what happens, Seto…"_

_Seto smiled his rare smile and pulled the boy into a tight embrace. "I love you Jounouchi."_

"_I love you too, Seto."_

* * *

"Seto…" Jounouchi said. He rolled around on his bed before sitting straight up. He looked around his dark room sleepily, noting his sleeping friend in the corner. Honda had agreed to stay with Jounouchi for as long as he needed him to. For support and just to have someone to talk to.

"It was just a dream…" Jounouchi grabbed his pillow and held it close. "I miss you so much, Seto."

A sudden ringing noise brought him out of his thoughts and back into the real world. "Huh?" He searched his nightstand for the small cell phone that he owned. He picked it up and answered it. "What..."

"_Get up."_

Jounouchi's eyes widened. "Who is this?"

"_Get up and come outside."_

"No!" Jounouchi hung up the phone, only to hear it ring once again. He answered it. "No!"

"_Jounouchi, I'm not going to say this again. GO OUTSIDE NOW!"_

He pulled he phone away from his ear. "Geez, not so loud! Honda's still sleeping!"

A pause. _"So, moved on from Kaiba with Honda I see...what would rich-boy say?"_

Jounouchi looked over at Honda. "What? I'm not with Honda! He's over here for moral support!"

"_Moral support, wild hot sex partner. I'm hearing the same thing here..."_

"I'll be out in a minute..."

* * *

Jounouchi stood outside with his arms folded across his chest. _'What is the matter with that person! They have the nerve to wake _me _up this early!'_

As soon as he finished thinking that sentence, a car pulled up out of nowhere and parked in front of him. A figure dressed in black jumped out of the back seat and grabbed him, pulling him off his feet and shoving him into the car.

"Dammit! What the hell are you doing?" Jounouchi screamed. "Who are you and what do you want with me?"

"Shut up!" The figure yelled. "You talk to much." The figure pulled off the mask on his head and revealed himself.

"Damn." Jounouchi said. "You know, I had a feeling it was you."

"You had no idea." Bakura said. "I had you fooled! AHAHAHA!"

"Yeah whatever. Now, what do you want with me?" Jounouchi asked.

"What do you think, moron? We finally came up with a plan to get the money from the cats! It's brilliant and you'll love it!"

Jounouchi leaned back and crossed his arms. "Why's that?"

"Because it's perfect! It is guaranteed to work!"

"Sure. Like all the plans you made to steal the puzzle." Jounouchi clapped his hands. "Brilliant work there."

"Shut up." Bakura said. He kicked the seat in front of him. "Driver! To the Mutou residence!"

"I know where I'm going, dumbass." The driver said. "We discussed this before and I'm not stupid like you are."

"Hey! I'm not paying you to talk!" Bakura kicked the seat again.

"You're not paying me at all!" The car stopped at a red light and the driver turned around. "So shut up!"

"Malik?" Jounouchi said.

"Sadly yes."

Jounouchi burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing. Oh nothing at all." Jounouchi said. "Hey look, we're at the game shop!"

"I know where we are!" Malik said. "I do!"

Bakura put the black mask back on his head and scooted toward the door. He put his hand on the door handle, then turned back to Jounouchi. "Be right back sweetheart."

Jounouchi stuck out his tongue and watched as Bakura left the car. "Moron." He watched out the window as Bakura began to climb a tree outside the shop. A puzzled look came across his face. "What is he doing?"

"Breaking and entering." Malik said. "He does that very well."

* * *

_Knock knock._

Yami shot up out of bed. "What was that?" He said to no one in particular. Yugi was asleep next to him and their grandfather was out of town. "Who's there?"

"_Orange..."_

Yami looked puzzled. "Orange who?" He looked around the room. "Did you hear me? I said 'Orange who'?"

_Knock knock._

Yami turned the other way. "Who's there?"

"_Orange..."_

Yami got out of bed. "Orange who?" He walked around the room looking for this so called "Orange". "Where are you Orange!"

_Knock knock._

"ENOUGH!" Yami shouted. "WHO'S THERE?"

"_Orange..."_

Yami walked over to the window and opened it quickly. "ORANGE WHO?" He felt the window hit something hard. "Huh?" He watched as the object he hit went crashing to the ground.

"Is that you, Orange?"

"No." He heard a faint voice say. "It's Bakura. Get down here now!"

Yami leaned over the window sill and looked down at Bakura. "Bakura? What were you doing in my tree?"

Bakura stood up and dusted himself off. "I was trying to get your attention, but you kept muttering things about oranges and stuff. GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Fine!" Yami said and closed the window harshly.

"Moron." Bakura said. "He fell for the orange joke hahahaha."

* * *

The car door opened and two figures went inside. The sat down on the seats and made themselves comfortable.

"What is going on?" Yami asked Bakura, who was pulling the mask off his face.

"Well, you see I came up with this brilliant plan--"

"Ahem, you mean _we_ came up with this brilliant plan." Malik interrupted.

"Shut up! You know that I was the mastermind behind the whole thing!" Bakura yelled. "Now drive, fool, drive! AHAHAHAHA!"

Yami and Jounouchi exchanged glances of confusion before Bakura began talking again.

"Anyway. As I was saying before someone rudely interrupted me," Bakura said. "We came up with this brilliant plan that's sure to get us the money."

Yami raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly would this plan be?"

"Okay," Bakura pulled out some papers. "This is the blueprint of the Kaiba Mansion. Yours truly stole it from Kaiba's office for you. I know, I'm that awesome. Anyway, here is where the money is--"

"How do you know that?" Jounouchi asked. "You've never been in the Kaiba Mansion before!"

"Ohohohoho," Bakura laughed. "Now that's where you're wrong. I've been in there countless times. I've been stealing from there since I was first released from the ring. Now pay attention!"

"No wonder we couldn't find Seto's gold statue of the Blue Eyes White Dragon." Jounouchi laughed. "And he said he lost it. Ha!"

"Quiet!" Bakura slapped Jounouchi on the back of the head. He continued talking, ignoring the exclamation of pain from the blonde. "Now, we need to get on the roof and climb in through the sky light. After getting through there, we should be on the top floor, a.k.a the fifth floor." He pointed to the floor on the blueprints.

"We should be right there." He tapped the paper. "Now, the money is on the third floor. So we need to take these stairs over here to said floor. The safe is in the twelfth door on the left."

"Really now, how did you figure all this out! There's no way you could remember all that." Jounouchi said. "I mean, come on! That place is huge!"

Bakura sighed. "Like I said. I've stolen from there plenty of times. And when I plan to go back and steal from it again, I usually remember where I'm going. Plus, I've tried that safe before. I got it open once, but then Kaiba found out that something was stolen and changed the combo on the locks."

"Aha! That was you!" Jounouchi said.

Bakura narrowed his eyes. "Okay then. Moving on. We'll need two people to go in and open the safe. One person will wait on the roof top, and the other person will keep guard around the perimeter."

Jounouchi looked at Yami, and then at Bakura. "Well, who's doing what?"

"I'll be going in to open the safe." Bakura said. "For I am the most experienced at this. Malik already said he was going to keep guard around the mansion. That leaves one of you to come with me, and the other to sit on the roof."

Jounouchi looked over at Yami. "I think I'll go with Bakura. I know my way around the mansion better than you do."

Yami nodded. "Yes. I have never been in the Kaiba Mansion before." He shrugged. "Too bad the first time that I'm going anywhere near it is to steal something from it. Oh look! My morals just flew out the window!"

"Yeah yeah, that happens." Bakura said. "Mine have been missing for a long time. I don't even remember how they disappeared."

The car rolled to a stop in front of an apartment complex. Bakura got out first, followed by Yami and then Jounouchi. Malik parked the car and followed the three men into the building.

"Ryou's not here because I sent him to someone's house." Bakura said. "I told him to go spend the night with a friend, and the first person he said was Yugi."

"I know." Yami said. "He was there when you came and got me. Idiot."

"Well sorry, _your highness_ but some people didn't know that." Bakura opened the apartment door and walked inside. "Come on in."

Yami and Jounouchi looked around as they walked in, taking note of the neat and tidiness of the spirits apartment. They also took note of the many knives and whips that were sitting on the kitchen counter, but they thought it was in their best interest not to ask.

Malik just waltzed right in and headed straight for the couch. He sat down and turned on the TV.

"The Seto and Mokuba Kaiba murder investigation continues to take place even into the late night. So far, no suspects have been arrested, but a few have come into mind. Jounouchi Katsuya, the CEO's lover, and Mutou Yugi, the CEO's rival. So far, no evidence has given the authorities any motive to arrest--"

Jounouchi turned off the TV. "Me? A suspect? What the hell! I love Seto!"

"Yugi? A suspect?" Yami said. "That's absurd!"

"Yeah yeah." Bakura said, walking to the couch. "I'm surprised they haven't come after me yet."

Bakura smirked at the looks he was receiving from his guests. "What? I didn't do it."

"Yeah yeah." Malik said. "Now, let's go over this plan again."

* * *

So, how did you like chapter 3? Hehe review! 


	4. Entering the Kaiba Mansion

Four Men, Twelve Cats, A Billion Dollars

By Liz

Oh man, I haven't touched this thing in a while. Hahaha. Okay, so here it is! Chapter 4 of the crazy dramatic humored story.

I'm so weird.

* * *

(Insert Mission Impossible Theme Song here)

A hook snagged itself on the edge of the rooftop. A rope attached to it was pulled tight, and some whispers were heard. Three figures, dressed in black, made their way up the side of the building and onto the rooftop.

One of the figures ran to the nearest skylight, peering in before shaking his head and moving on to the next one.

Another figure ran to catch up with the first one.

The third figure sat down by the edge and sighed to himself. "What the hell are we getting ourselves into?"

"Shhh!" The first figure yelled to the third.

The third rolled his eyes.

"Do you want to get us killed, _Sigma Upsilon_?"

The third stood up. "My name is Ya—"

"SHHH!" The first put a finger to his mouth. "You are Sigma Upsilon."

He rolled his eyes again.

"Now," The first figure started. "Kappa Lambda, we need to open this skylight and lower ourselves in."

"Roger!" The second figure said.

"No!" The first whispered loudly. "My name is Ba—I mean, Beta Pi!"

"Oh yeah." The second said.

* * *

The two figures lowered themselves into the room.

"Bakur—erm, Beta Pi," The second one said. "It's dark in here."

"No, really?" Bakura said. "Kappa Lambda, it's dark because _no one is here._"

"Well yeah," Jounouchi said. "But usually there's a security light on somewhere."

"Really," Bakura said. "I wonder why it's not on now…and where is this music coming from?"

(Remove Mission Impossible Theme Song here)

"There, that's better."

The two boys looked around the dark room in silence.

"Beta Pi, what are we doing now?"

"Shh! You're too loud."

Suddenly, they heard a crackling noise. The two practically jumped out of their skin. Jounouchi had grabbed onto Bakura out of fear, squeezing him tightly.

"Don't kill me! I didn't do anything! Honest!" Jounouchi cried. "It was all his idea!"

"Get off me!" Bakura shoved Jounouchi to the ground. "It's the freaking radio, you idiot."

"Oh,"

"Mu Omega, this is Beta Pi," Bakura called into the radio. "What is it that you want, idiot?"

Silence.

"What do you want?"

Silence.

"I think you have to do this," Jounouchi said, grabbing the radio. "Over." He said into it.

"Why do you have to say 'over'?" Bakura asked. "That's dumb! What does it do?"

"It tells the other person that you're done talking."

"Oh."

"Beta Pi, this is Mu Omega," The radio cracked out. "There are no signs of security guards, but Sigma Upsilon looks rather bored on that rooftop, Over."

Bakura sighed. "Mal—Mu Omega, DON'T USE THE RADIO FOR STUPID ENTERTAINMENT! OVER!"

"This isn't stupid entertainment," The radio said. "this is, well, okay, so it's stupid entertainment to watch the Pharaoh talk to himself, Over."

"WATCH THE DAMN ENTRANCES YOU IDIOT!" Bakura yelled. "OVER!"

* * *

Bakura and Jounouchi stalked against the walls, moving toward the elevator. They had moved about five feet when Bakura felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Was that you?" Bakura said.

"Yes," Jounouchi answered.

"What do you want?"

"It's dark," He said. "very dark…"

Bakura sighed. "And?"

"I can't see where I'm going."

"Well, yeah, it's kinda, the _dark_." Bakura said. "What's the point of this?"

"I'm scared."

Bakura raised an eyebrow, but the effect was lost in the lack of proper lighting. "You're scared?"

"Yes," Jounouchi said. "Can you hold my hand?"

"No!" Bakura yelled out instantly. "I do not comfort people! And you! You are pathetic!"

"Please? I'd feel better and we'd be able to move on faster!" Jounouchi said. "Please Bakura! I'm scared and I can't see where I'm going! Seto used to hold my hand when we'd return home to the dark mansion late at night! He knew I was scared of the dark! And I was so afraid too! I'd cry and yell and scream! It was so—"

"ALRIGHT!" Bakura yelled. He grabbed one of Jounouchi's hands. "Just shut up, will you!"

Jounouchi closed his mouth. "Mmmhmm!"

The two stalked along the wall some more until Bakura ran smack into another wall. "Ow!" He yelled. "What the hell is this?"

Jounouchi reached forward and touched the wall. "It's an elevator." He pushed the button and watched it light up, the only light in the entire room. "And it's coming now to take us to the third floor!"

"Excellent," Bakura said. "Mwahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Shhh!" Jounouchi said. "That evil laugh is way too loud!"

Bakura grumbled.

"Hey, I thought you said there were stairs here." Jounouchi said.

"There were on the blueprints." Bakura said. "He must have replaced these stairs with an elevator before he died."

Jounouchi's eyes watered up. "Setoooooo!" He started crying.

"Ugh," Bakura grunted. "Jounouchi, shut up. Seto is in a better place now…well, not really, but whatever. The only way for you to get over Seto is to fulfill his wish. His wish, for you to take his money and live happily ever after."

"But his will said—"

"Forget his will!" Bakura said. "He loved you. You loved him. End of story. Take his money, be happy, and get on with your life."

"You know what Bakura?" Jounouchi said. "You are a moron."

"A heartless moron." Bakura responded.

Jounouchi sighed.

* * *

Yami paced around on the top of the roof. He was bored out of his mind, and he had nothing to do. There was no one coming, so he didn't have to warn anyone. He was just…bored.

He pulled out his radio and looked at it.

"_Here," Bakura said. "Use this when you see something coming. Tell us and we'll either hide, or race our asses out of there and come back up the roof. Don't. Screw. This. Up. This is life and death, here."_

Yami frowned at the radio. "He thinks I'm going to screw something up, doesn't he? Well, he's in for a surprise."

He began walking back to the skylight. He tightened his grip on the radio.

* * *

Jounouchi and Bakura climbed in the elevator, and were surprised to see it lit up. The doors closed, and Bakura pressed the number "3" on the left side of the elevator.

The two boys stood in silence, listening to the cheap elevator music that was moving through the air. Jounouchi began a small dance, and Bakura just glared at him.

The music died out, and Jounouchi stopped dancing. He felt a squeeze on his hand. He turned to Bakura and smirked.

"You know," He began. "You can let go of my hand at any time now."

Bakura pulled his hand out of Jounouchi's, his face flushed. "You never said you wanted me to let go. I was doing you a favor."

"Sure you were," Jounouchi said. "Sure."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. The two boys stepped out and began walking to their next destination.

The twelfth door on the left.

* * *

Tada! The fourth chapter. Hope you liked it! 


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